My No Bullshit Hiring History

I always liked this guy on Girls

 

I spend most of my job coaching people on what to do with their careers. You might think this means I have my own life figured out. In reality, my job history shows a lack of focus and intense desire to live in locations that please me. From the mouth of a person who has likely looked at your resume, here is my career history:

 

From Night Shit Obit-Writer to Corporate Monkey

Read this: Heartbreak coach is a real job

File this article under: jobs that I didn’t know existed.  An editor at Elle had an unexpected break up and reached out to a self-proclaimed Heartbreak healer.  I suppose this is the natural next step following the advent of the dating coach.  Although I’ve been that girl who would grasp at literally anything to get over a broken heart, I remain skeptical about the kind of qualifications one would have to help.  Read on to decide if Heartbreak coach is really a thing.

 

After a tough break up, an Elle editor consults a Heartbreak Coach 

 

 

 

 

When you get fired do NOT lie to your friends about it (I would know)

 

If you ever find yourself in a place where you think not telling people about something horrible in your life, just stop.  You will be worried about judgment and criticism and friends deciding to stop loving you because you’re imperfect.  But they won’t.  If they are your true friends they will love you BECAUSE you are imperfect and because you will share who you really are with them.  Take it from a girl who has lived through it.

 

I got fired and lied to everyone about it

Read This: Monica Lewinsky on the affair to remember

This was going to be a fascinating read regardless of the skill of the writer but Monica is thoughtful and introspective about the affair that cost her not only her career but her public life.  Side note: Vanity Fair’s features have been killin’ it lately.

Monica Lewinsky Speaks

 

So why speak now? Because it is time.

I turned 40 last year, and it is time to stop tiptoeing around my past—and other people’s futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I’ve decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past.

Read This: Memory Lane with Dave Holmes (recovering MTV VJ)

He wants to push you around, and he will. And he will.

I am happy to see Dave Holmes resurface from the deep ocean of 90s MTV.  I was a pre-teen/teenager back in the day when Carson Daly did a video count down and Oasis seemed like the coolest thing on the block.  Side note: I met a girl from Manchester recently and waited a total of 5 days before asking her if she was the WORLD’S BIGGEST OASIS FAN.  Answer: She is.

But back to Dave Holmes, in this article he finds a way to talk about some low moments of singlehood that relates tangentially to Marcy Playground’s “Sex and Candy.”  That is to say, I think Dave and I could have a beer and talk about how a boy I loved from afar convinced me it was a good idea to get a Matchbox 20 cd and I absolutely hated it but feared telling him the truth would keep us apart forever.  That dude has since moved to North Carolina and my Matchbox 20 hatred will go with me to the grave.

Dave Holmes, thank you for unearthing the shit storm that was unrequited love and bad pop in the 90s.  I salute you.

Also, Dave Holmes is gay?  Who knew?  (Well probably a lot of people, but not me).  

Dave Holmes Revists 1998

Living in DC: a strange tale

Rob Lowe perpetually looking steamy

Moving to DC isn’t all Rob Lowes and walk and talks.  For me, it was living in a married couple’s guest bedroom and trying to figure out all of the happy hour deals in Dupont.  I worked at a low income housing cooperative lobbying group that required me to do next to nothing all summer for my stipend.  I’m sure I did a poor job at the few things they required of me but one time I won free burritos for the whole office so they’ll forever remember me as a good egg.  I wrote about the experience of living with the married couple because things (as they do) turned weird.

You can read all about at at XOJane:

 My landlords propositioned me for group sex

 

 

For the Love of Aidan Gillen: The Scheming Politician of Baltimore and Westeros

I am a disciple of the tv wonder that is “The Wire.”  In a show with an abundance of talent, I found myself developing a tv crush on the political, manipulative and philandering Tommy Carcetti played by Aidan Gillen.  Imagine my delight when he was cast as scheming politician Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish on “Game of Thrones.”   While both characters share (roughly) the same physical appearance and sneaky political motives, I’ve broken down their personal nuances.

Warning: Contains plot spoilers for “The Wire” and “Game of Thrones”


Read more at http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2013/11/29/for-the-love-of-aidan-gillen-the-scheming-politician-of-baltimore-and-westeros/#vFkMgzVdhsvBQFkW.99